To the other mother with two children under 3 in the grocery store, who said to me tonight
"I wish, just for ONE single day, I had my sh** together like it looks like you do."
This is what I WISH that I told you, Mama:
Although you saw my two girls smiling, and one happily eating an apple, before we left it took me over twenty-five minutes explaining to my toddler if she threw another 'it sounds like my mom is beating me but really I'm just a toddler-fit'... mommy was more than likely going to lose her marbles in front of an entire store...
You also missed the part where I told her if she asked for ANYTHING other than an apple, she wouldn't have play time and stories before bed. (Yes I am a class-A mean mom)
You missed the part where my toddler peed her pants right as we were leaving (for no reason, at that) and my 1-year old tried to eat a penny, then slammed her head into a wall(on purpose) when I took it from her.
The best part you missed was the 3 year old saying I was the meanest mommy alive for not letting the baby eat that penny...
You may have not smelled me, but as you told me I had my sh** together so well, I realized I didn't even put deodorant on today.
Little do you know - we all break, we all mess up, and speaking of mess-ups, I'm pretty much the queen of them. I have a shield of armor made out of good wine and sanity from having an incredible nanny who helps me two days a week.
I wish I could have told you that not for one day, or even one second, do I have my sh** together any more than you do. I don't even know if my socks are clean honestly,
But remember this, pretty mama, as long as that food you were shopping for is going in your children's bellies, you are a winner in my book, you are a soldier and a baller and a super hero with an invisible cape; and you've got this!
Because I couldn't tell this mama these words in the rush of checking out, I want to share it with many other women, because someone else might need to hear it too.
We've all been there! It's ok to accept the compliment. It's good to feel good about ourselves as Moms sometimes...we really need the encouragement!
ReplyDeleteHey Chelsea,
ReplyDeleteYou are in that season my mom used to call, "Smothered in Motherhood." It's just hard! In fact, if there weren't pictures, I don't think I would remember much of it!
But, this is a season. It will pass. It will get easier. And, you are going to make it!
I'm going to pray for you to be encouraged every single time God brings you to mind!
Found your post today on While I'm Waiting.
Hope you have a good day today~
Melanie
Chelsea, I really really love this post and I'm going to share it because NO ONE and I mean NO ONE with kids always has their shit together! We are all envious of women who APPEAR they do but I know every single one of us have their moments! I'm way too scared to take both my boys to the supermarket by myself, it would be an insane move (on my part and for everyone else shopping that day! Haha). Kudos to you! Keep up the great work :) #WAYWOW
ReplyDeleteOhhh I remember those days! Heck theres still times I live those days and my boys are much older.
ReplyDeleteFake it till you make it. I'm 47, and my "baby" is 16. I just got my sh!t together a year and a half ago. It's OK, you'll get there.
ReplyDeleteStopping by from the linkup. SUCH a great post! I'm going to share it! XOXO
ReplyDeleteThank you all! I always take comfort in knowing I'm never alone in the 'mother struggle'. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's been a long time since I was in your shoes, but I enjoyed reading this. My daughter was just asking me the other day how moms juggle work and kids when she is just stressed all day with work. But, we just do it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing at SYC!
We've all been there, Chelsea. I've received compliments about me and my daughter seconds after a breakdown at the store or a mishap at home. And I want to tell them: looks can be deceiving. You're right to encourage. As long as we're trying our best and taking care of our children, it's a success. Who says we have to perfect in parenting, anyway? Thanks so much for sharing this with us! So glad I found you on Totally Terrific Tuesday this week
ReplyDeleteSuch an honest post - I'm always amazed when people tell me I look like I'm coping so well. I'm like, really, I haven't even brushed my hair this morning! I think we all judge ourselves so harshly we can't see what others see when they look at us. x #awesomelifefriday
ReplyDeleteI don't think any mama has their s*** together!
ReplyDeleteYou're an amazing, badass mom! :)
ReplyDeleteThis is so, so perfect. Part of having it together is having a good attitude about the mess we're all in, and you have that. :)
ReplyDeleteFound you at Kitchen Fun with My Three Sons, and looking forward to reading more!
There are the good days of motherhood and the bad ones. Keeping a sense of humor in both is always a plus. Attitude too is key. Thanks for making me laugh at Party at My Place. Hope you come back next week and share again.
ReplyDeleteLove your post! I have an almost 3yo and a 1 yo and I am not brave enough to take to the grocery store by myself! I would love to at least look like I had it all together! Thanks for linking up with us! #BloggerSpotlight
ReplyDeleteLove your honesty. This daddy can relate to the "so busy showers just don't happen," thing too. Wishing you and your family an incredible week!
ReplyDeleteIt is so easy to compare ourselves to what we see on the outside lives of other people but not realise that they have the same struggles too. Thanks for sharing your 'realness'
ReplyDeleteSo real, raw and true. Thank you!! Found you on Happiness is Homemade link up.
ReplyDeleteOut in public, my son looks like the perfect angel (most of the time) but at home it's a whole other story. My house is a wreck, I don't sleep well because at 2.5 he still wakes up at midnight and 4 (otherwise known as the party hours), and like you, I try to shower on the regular, but sometimes even that takes too much work. We are all there. Every single one of us and I'm so glad you're helping to point it out. <3 #MeanderingMondays
ReplyDeleteI can feel the same, I have two, my daughter is drama queen, where son is fine. some time if both together make life hell especially in the store.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the highest compliments, ever! LOL! My kids are 23 and 16 and I don't think anyone would tell me that I looked like I had my shit together if I had them both in the grocery store! LOL And I wouldn't get off with just an apple!
ReplyDeleteIt's great that she reached out to you, I'm sure it helped her to say it as much as it helped you to hear it! I love the quote from "We bought a zoo..."
"All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage""
It will get you through the roughest times, you just have to remember to get through life 20 seconds at a time. You got this!
This is one of the highest compliments, ever! LOL! My kids are 23 and 16 and I don't think anyone would tell me that I looked like I had my shit together if I had them both in the grocery store! LOL And I wouldn't get off with just an apple!
ReplyDeleteIt's great that she reached out to you, I'm sure it helped her to say it as much as it helped you to hear it! I love the quote from "We bought a zoo..."
"All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage""
It will get you through the roughest times, you just have to remember to get through life 20 seconds at a time. You got this!
Thanks for your honesty...it brought back so many memories because NO ONE has it "all together". Some of us are just better at hiding our insanity :) Thanks for adding this to From The Farm...it's one of this week's favorites. Hope to see you again soon!
ReplyDeleteI SO understand this! I can remember giving the side glance to mom's who were losing their s#@* on their kids in a store and thinking, "Oh, I'll NEVER treat my kids like that." Truth is, I didn't see how little Johnny had been a complete nightmare all.morning.long and that poor mom was just exhausted. Now I'm more apt to give a thumbs up and whisper "you've got this". We're all hot messes - some of us just hide it better than others! ;) Thanks so much for sharing at Waiting on...Wednesday! I hope you'll join us again tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteThis was a great post!! I think everyone can relate!!You made me smile and tear up at the same time!! We've all been there sister and doing it as a single parent...You got this!! Oh BTW this was the Most Viewed Link from last weeks party and will be featured tomorrow!! :-) Thanks for sharing on My 2 favorite Things on Thursday!! Pinned!
ReplyDeleteMust be rough.. With no man to help.. And not being able to shower and all
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to let you know that you are being featured on the #BloggersSpotlight link up that goes live tonight at 10pm EST! Thanks for linking up with his!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post! I really enjoyed reading it since I'm usually only "put-together" for about five minutes at a time, maybe less if we're at Target...LOL! Thanks so much for sharing with us at Share The Wealth Sunday!
ReplyDeletexoxo
Lisa
Ah that's tough! I remember those days so well, and other's preconceived notions as well. Oh, and the old ladies looking at me, my kids, and my buggy and saying, "Oh! You really have your hands full!" Yeah, lady. No duh. But I'm not staying home one more minute with these kids - I gotta get air, ya know?!
ReplyDeleteLOL but real life. I'm sorry it's tough, but I'm also glad you're honest and real. You'll get through these tough days, you will! Thanks for sharing with us on Tuesday Talk!